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Columns

  • A boar-ing column

    I didn’t expect to see anything new as I drove from my house to Dixie High School in Due West, South Carolina on Saturday for a softball game. Why would I, what with the route I took being what one would best describe as “rural?”

  • Weddings at the beach, I just love them...especially this one

    Months ago, my girlfriend Page asked me if we could come down to the beach for her wedding, which she was thinking about having in April. Of course I said yes, we most certainly will be there! Just so happens, this past weekend was the wedding, and what a grand time we had!

    I'm sharing this story with all of you not only because I love and miss Page desperately and I'm so stoked about how happy she is, but because many of you love and miss Page as well, and so I wanted all of you to enjoy and revel in her pure true happiness also!

  • In defense of the frork
  • April showers bring May Flowers

    For the past couple weeks, one of the pastures closest to the house – we call it the maternity ward – has just been full of wild buttercup or bitterweed, as some call it. Yes, it is a weed, but gosh how pretty it is in full bloom in the field.

    The other day I was out riding and checking on the young mama cows ready to calve and out there right in the middle of the pasture were three baby calves. All I could see were three tiny black heads peeping up over the yellow blooms and their red tags. It was such a beautiful sight!

  • What Easter candy?

    As we came into work on the Monday following Easter Sunday, my boss Travis Jenkins brought in a box of mini Cadbury Crème Eggs to share with the office. When I went back to pop one of these little chocolate and caramel bombs of deliciousness into my mouth later, I discovered the box was as empty as my hopes. When it comes to Easter candy, I guess everyone follows the same rule as I do – it should be eaten before Easter is over.

    I talked to my brother Brad late Easter evening and asked him the perennial: “What did the Easter bunny bring you?”

  • What does a "brand new day" smell like?

    “Can I help you find something, sir?” a very helpful employee of the store I visited Monday night asked me.

    “Trash bags. I just want some trash bags,” I said.

    “They’re right here,” he said, motioning to the right side of the aisle I was standing on.

  • Seeing the light after emerging from the darkness

    "Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

     

    Last week I left you with this quote. I shared with you, the reader, my true intimate heart and about how we are all just human, filled with the same feelings of sadness, grief and darkness, and sometimes we find ourselves alone.

  • Flying the unfriendly skies

    I’ve never been asked to leave any establishment, that I can remember…unless you count a friend’s house as “an establishment.” That request was made by a wife who felt that at 1:30 a.m. it was high time I and another friend of her husband seek out entertainment options elsewhere. Anyway, I’ve certainly never been forcibly removed from a place, but then I don’t fly much either.

  • Bozo was my math teacher
  • Toilet humor

    “I kind of want to write a column about this, but I think maybe I’ve visited the topic a little too often,” I said to Brian this morning.

    Reporter Brian, being a terrible influence and also possessing the same fifth-grade level of sophistication and humor as I do, told me to go ahead and drop my bucket into that well one more time. So I will, but just know that it won’t be water coming out of this bucket.