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Columns

  • The wrong Chester

    When my office phone rings, there’s never any telling who or what is waiting for me on the other end of the line. It could be a complaint of some kind, someone thanking us for something, someone who wants to sell their three-legged goat (in which case they should be talking to Karen in classifieds, not me) or someone with a news tip. When it is someone with a potential news story, they can (and have) literally run the gamut public corruption to “my nana grows the biggest cabbages you’ve ever seen.” The call I got Monday falls somewhere in-between those two.

  • Becky's fat fin

    I think most people like dolphins. They always seem to be smiling, they have a reputation of helping sailors lost at sea, they are known to help fishermen with their catches, they can be taught to do tricks and they generally seem like good-natured creatures. However, they have a dark, unsettling side most people don’t know about and I’m going to blow the lid off this long-held secret…dolphins are bad to gossip.

  • Making wise meat choices

    “I’m not taking any sort of responsibility for you trying ‘Texas Style BBQ’ in Camden (bleepity bleeping) South Carolina,” my friend Jed said, via text.

    On Friday, I was facing a very long road trip to watch Lewisville play at Lamar, which is located way, way, way down in Darlington somewhere. Usually, when I have a road trip of that length, I try to do a little advance research and plot a course to eat barbecue.

  • The end of the Great ID Quest

    …And everyone lived happily ever after

    …And they never did, to this day.

    …Scrooge was better than his word; he became a better master, a better friend and a better man than the Good Old City ever knew.

     

    These are the ways fantasy stories are supposed to end and stories about quests are supposed to end. I present you with another one: And finally, the taxes were reduced.

  • A hot mug of crazy

    Did you know that this light, silly, weekly column is written by a scary, sadistic, psychopath? I read it on the Internet so it must be true.

  • Eating IKEA

    Thanks, loyal readers for putting up with my IKEA rant/riff a few weeks ago. The IKEA fun continues this week as I ate some IKEA food (yes, Virginia there is such a thing) and “helped” the wife assemble (dis-assemble?) the Brusalia wardrobe we bought on our first visit there.

    First, to the food. We will leave the adventures in furniture building for another time.

  • A bologna sandwich?

    I tricked my wife. She’s a very bright, perceptive woman, so it wasn’t easy to do, but I tricked her.

  • I believe you!

    I know people are skeptical about what they see in the media these days and to a point that is understandable, but can we all just agree that if the wind is blowing 150 miles-per-hour and there are torrential downpours, we’re having a hurricane? That seems like a fairly logical conclusion, right?

  • And the fun continues...

    For the past couple weeks I have been out of pocket, but I well remember closing my last articles with this:

    "Get out, enjoy the summer, do something different, and just love what you're doing!"

    And believe it or not, I have been doing just that. 

  • AGAINST THE DOMINION DEAL...Dominion's "Payday loan"

    “You are being offered a Pay-Day-Loan! You will get a $1,000 check today…but the only catch is that you will have to make payments over the next 20 years…totaling $4-5,000.” Do you take the deal?

    As your senator, I beg you. When you see something that looks “too good to be true;” it usually is! Make sure you read the fine print!