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Columns

  • What Easter candy?

    As we came into work on the Monday following Easter Sunday, my boss Travis Jenkins brought in a box of mini Cadbury Crème Eggs to share with the office. When I went back to pop one of these little chocolate and caramel bombs of deliciousness into my mouth later, I discovered the box was as empty as my hopes. When it comes to Easter candy, I guess everyone follows the same rule as I do – it should be eaten before Easter is over.

    I talked to my brother Brad late Easter evening and asked him the perennial: “What did the Easter bunny bring you?”

  • What does a "brand new day" smell like?

    “Can I help you find something, sir?” a very helpful employee of the store I visited Monday night asked me.

    “Trash bags. I just want some trash bags,” I said.

    “They’re right here,” he said, motioning to the right side of the aisle I was standing on.

  • Flying the unfriendly skies

    I’ve never been asked to leave any establishment, that I can remember…unless you count a friend’s house as “an establishment.” That request was made by a wife who felt that at 1:30 a.m. it was high time I and another friend of her husband seek out entertainment options elsewhere. Anyway, I’ve certainly never been forcibly removed from a place, but then I don’t fly much either.

  • Seeing the light after emerging from the darkness

    "Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

     

    Last week I left you with this quote. I shared with you, the reader, my true intimate heart and about how we are all just human, filled with the same feelings of sadness, grief and darkness, and sometimes we find ourselves alone.

  • Bozo was my math teacher
  • Toilet humor

    “I kind of want to write a column about this, but I think maybe I’ve visited the topic a little too often,” I said to Brian this morning.

    Reporter Brian, being a terrible influence and also possessing the same fifth-grade level of sophistication and humor as I do, told me to go ahead and drop my bucket into that well one more time. So I will, but just know that it won’t be water coming out of this bucket.

  • Copydog

    Do you ever give any thought to where common, everyday phrases come from? Some of them, just taken on their literal meaning, don’t make any sense. Why is “break a leg” considered a good luck wish?

  • Close your eyes and go with me...you know the place

    I'm sitting here staring at a blank piece of paper wanting the words to just start flowing out of me and living out a wonderful story right here and now. 

    But today it seems hard. I'm tired, worn, weary and oh so very lonely with no one to call like I used to when I would call Cindy and say, "I just needed to call and hear you say it’s okay." 

  • Seems spring always brings me down – I yearn for you so

    Seems the past few weeks have been so very hard for me. It's not supposed to be this way, right? Springtime is a beautiful time of year. It was my very favorite for years and years growing up. Granny and I had such joy together in the spring, and Cindy and I and the baby enjoyed so much love and laughter in the spring.

  • Rock-n-roll heaven

    When it comes to encounters with celebrities, I’ve got a lot of great stories. Just none of my own.